Star gazing

As I’ve said in previous post, I have many goals or things that take my time. Many. My relationships with my husband, friends, and family, work at the mermaid house and nannying, blogging, book writing, Thursday night Bible study, learning German, reading the Bible, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, apartment hunting, applying for university, to name a few.

Every day I have to prioritize. What’s most important today? What do I realistically have time for?  Honestly, I am not very good at prioritizing. I have the tendency to pile my plate so high that I’d rather just do nothing at all.  I am also not very good at realizing what I actually have time for. For example, I wanted to blog every day and work on my book five days a week, while working every day for three weeks straight. Was it realistic? Not really. This will be my first blog entry in a month. I haven’t worked on my book for six weeks.  I’m 300 pages behind in my Bible in six months plan.

The first three weeks I was working two jobs I felt really motivated. I wanted to spend every moment doing something. The first day I didn’t blog I felt like a failure. It was more about my person goal than anything else. I felt like if I can’t keep up with my goals then I’m not really thriving. Telling myself, “I can’t be exhausted; I got to keep moving forward.”

But lately I’ve been reevaluating this “thriving” thing. Maybe thriving isn’t about always doing something. Maybe it’s not all about go go go. Maybe thriving is about balance. Maybe thriving is about prioritizing. Maybe thriving means reflecting on the week, taking time to relax and just be.

Yes, I want to move forward. Yes, I have goals. Yes, I want to be a good wife, sister, daughter, friend.

But I have to prioritize. I have to be realistic about my time and not over commit. I have to remind myself that I’m not perfect and that’s ok.

So here I am again reminding myself to take this life one day at a time. Still choosing to reach for the stars but reminding myself to relax and enjoy the view along the way.

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